I want to be a magician.

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Clarke's Third Law

Many people have heard this quotation, but few people really think about its implications.

We now live in a world that is so completely immersed in advanced technology that we depend upon it for our very survival.  Most of the actions that we depend upon for our everyday activities -- from flipping a switch to make the lights come on to obtaining all of our food supplies at a nearby supermarket -- are things that any individual from a century ago would consider magic.

Very few people in industrialized countries do work that is not directly assisted by electronic computers, although that computerized assistance is often quite invisible to the average person.  Few people think about things such as the fact that whenever we buy some food item at a supermarket, the next time we go to that same supermarket, they still have about the same supplies that they had before.  There are invisible infrastructures all around us that are made up of advanced technology.  Most of us just take the magic for granted.

Few people stop to consider what would happen if, in an instant, the magic went away.  If our advanced technology were suddenly and completely destroyed, how would we manage to survive?

We, as future engineers, are but the last century's magicians.

And when I look at the future that is promised to me, I can only rejoice myself, for I know, that one day, I will be part of this. I will, amongst many others, make a difference. As Neil once said, "That's one small step for man; one giant leap for mankind".

I don't know yet what I, personally, will do. What will be my contribution to the humanity. But I know one thing: I am proud. Proud of myself, of what I am and what I have to give. I may be not the best man on earth -and it will be foolish to think  likewise- but I am a good man. Can't say I always was. There are some things I regret. Things I did, said, felt. But at the end of the day, what counts is what I am, not the some mistakes I made.

Things aren't so bright today. A thick fog has covered all the surroundings outside, and it's getting cold here in the very room I am currently writing. My heart feels a bit hollow still. And yet. I survive. Because no matter what, the sun will shine once again someday. I still have friends who support me, who constantly tell me to cheer up, to not give up to all the sadness and cynicism that sometimes threatens to surge. 

I've learnt -the hard way- that no matter what may be happening now, my Destiny awaits. I'm a capable man, and through all the flaws and the pain, I've managed to make it through 'til now. I will meet Her, and She will see me for who I am. The very man she's always dreamt of. And I will suffer no more.

I've recently got to speak to my first ex on Skype. And things turned out pretty well. Of course, the conversation was a little odd at first. But then we could remember our memories without the shadow of the past making us feel too down. I had that little pinch inside me when she said if she could go back, she would have never done the things she did the way did. That she couldn't see how "amazing" I am when we first met coz we were young. And there was something in her voice that almost shattered my own voice when I had to answer her. Memories are overflowing. But now I can enjoy them. Damn, though all the wrong things we did, there was still room in our minds for the great moments we had.

She's with her new bf. Things are going pretty well as it seems. After almost a year of living afar, they now can see each other everyday. I envy and am glad for them at the same time.

I think I'll follow her advice, just stop looking for, and just let it happen. For the best surprises occur when we don't wait for them.

I'll just focus on what I have to do. But I can't wait. I want to have at least one glimpse of the future I have the right to get. 

I don't have to give up the dreams I had as the child. I can cast fire from my hands, build a device that will provide light and heat from scratch. Create hapiness from sorrow.

The Best Is Yet to Come

I want to become an engineer. I want to become someone's magician.